Under My Skin
by Ookami-Shoujo
Summary: Sakura always wished she could understand what her other teammates go through with their haunted eyes and hidden pain. As the saying goes, “Be careful what you wish for.”
1. My Tears For Naught

Well, this idea's been swimming in my brain for a month or two now. I'm glad I've finally started writing it! Though I suppose I should be focusing more on some of my other stories (coughcough), but I'll get back to those! Eventually... Anyways, this is going to be a bit action-packed with some relationship building, so we'll just see how this turns out. Hope you all enjoy it the way I am!

Before anyone comments on this, I'd like to warn you that some of the things that are thought and said in this fanfic may be a bit hypocritical. That is on purpose, as I'm trying my best to emulate the way children of eleven or so act. They are still very young in this fanfic, and Team Seven is in the beginning stages of their time together, so don't expect cohesive fighting or bonding any time soon (or ever! Hahaha...ha.). Certain things will end up being canon, though I have a feeling as the fic goes on, things will change a bit.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or its characters.

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Chapter One – My Tears For Naught

He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"I just don't get it! Why are we always stuck with D-rank missions? This really, really SUCKS!" The voice of a young boy resounded through the hall, making several bystanders turn to shoot the blonde dirty looks. He didn't seem to take notice, still frowning up at their sensei with all the will that an eleven year old could muster. And was having no effect.

Dark, smoldering eyes. Silky smooth locks of hair that her hands just itched to touch and run through. Perfectly formed lips meant for kissing, and even in their current sneer, Sakura wished he would look at her. Just one glance and she would be in heaven. The slightest acknowledgment of her existence and she would go home humming, telling her parents how great her day was no matter what boring task they were assigned.

"Naruto, you're just a genin right now. When you're a little more experienced, we'll be able to go on higher leveled missions, but at this moment, you just need to be able to show that you can be mature and patient." Kakashi beamed at him those fake rainbow eyes of joy, and all three teens felt a shiver run down their spines.

But Uchiha Sasuke only had eyes for one thing—to glare at Uzumaki Naruto when he was being particularly stupid. Or loud. Or even breathing.

"Yeah right. That dobe and maturity? They don't mix," Sasuke snorted, and instantly all of Naruto's attention was on the dark-haired boy, blue clashing against black.

Sakura sighed, mainly to herself. Just one look—that was all she wanted. But Sasuke didn't turn to talk to her, and Naruto was still throwing his arms and energy everywhere, maintaining the attention of everyone in the room. She wanted to roll her eyes; he just couldn't be normal could he? If she was one to say nasty things (which she was once in a while, but only to herself), she would call Naruto a glory- slash attention-hogger at his worst.

But she had promised herself ever since that day at the Academy when Sasuke had looked at her with such disgust in his eyes that she would be nicer to Naruto. So she held back her own temper, and simply smiled at Kakashi nervously. "Ah, Kakashi-sensei, what is our mission today?"

The tall, lanky jounin looked like he rather be anywhere other than babysitting three new genin who weren't satisfied with their current position in life, but he still patted Sakura on the head, ruffling her hair. "Good question Sakura. I think I have found the perfect D for you guys. Trust me, you'll love it."

Fixing her hair back in place with an inward grimace, Sakura felt her eyelid twitch. The three of them love it? Somehow she doubted it. A lot. And from the look on her teammates' faces, they felt the same way.

"Ahem, a-HEM." The lady giving out missions cleared her throat loudly, tired of the squad that was blocking her booth. Pulling a paper from the top of the stack, she nodded at Kakashi. "Yes, yes, your client should be here very soon to fill you in on the details. It is a _D_-rank, and you should be grateful for having a mission at all, young man." She eyed Naruto distastefully, but buried her attention back into her work, glad to be done with Team Nine for today.

Before Naruto could burst into another loud round of complaining, an old lady walked up to them, cane tapping against the floor. "Yes, yes, are you here for my mission?" Her voice was a thin reed and she reminded Sakura instantly of just another old grandmother.

"If you're the one who started the Fuji case, then yes."

She nodded, smiling at them congenially. "Yes that is my case. I was hoping you could check up on Hiro-kun. He hasn't been himself lately, and for the last few weeks I honestly don't think he's left his house." Her smile became knowing. "I'm his next-door neighbor, and we used to chat a lot whenever I babysat his children. They're all grown up now, but Hiro-kun has always been my neighbor since then. I just want to make sure he's still alive I guess." She laughed merrily and Kakashi managed a polite response of chuckingly.

"Well don't worry, we'll make sure he's doing just fine."

"Thank you. I would like to talk to Hiro-kun again—we had such nice talks you know." She bowed to them politely and handed Kakashi a photo before weaving off, cane still clacking loudly against the ground with each step.

"All right team, let's get star—" Their sensei turned to face his students again, and all three had irritated expressions on their faces which had cut off his sentence with the amount of open hostility. He merely beamed back.

For once Sakura was in unison with the other two as they exchanged looks. Yes, Kakashi was definitely doing this on purpose. Truthfully, Sakura wouldn't mind having a more exciting mission too—maybe go somewhere outside of Konoha and see the sights. That would be wonderful...especially if Sasuke was there with her and Naruto had caught a mysterious cold at that same time. She sighed to herself again, blushing slightly as she imagined it.

"And what is there to love about this mission, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked in a dead voice, still sending him the fisheye. At least he was quieter.

Kakashi laughed cheerfully and simply hustled them off towards the house of Fuji Hiro.

_Rap. Rap. Rap_.

They waited for the door to open, but as expected no one came to greet them. Naruto looked ready to break the door down, but Kakashi stopped him with a smile. "I have a key." He pushed it in and turned it. To everyone's surprise it didn't quite fit. Sakura blinked. Had Fuji changed the locks?

"All right Naruto, try not to bust the door right off its hinges." He hadn't even gotten to the word "try" before Naruto had happily kicked the door open with a mighty shove. It would have slammed against the opposing wall if it weren't for Kakashi's quick reflexes, stopping the door from reverberating and announcing to the world where they were.

They filed inside quickly, each looking around for any sign of Fuji. "He's not here," Sakura said with some disappointment. She just wanted this mission to be over with so she could go do something else, maybe even get some of Sasuke's attention.

"Split up. Naruto, Sasuke, take the upstairs. I'll take the basement. Sakura, stay on this floor." They all moved swiftly to obey his orders, though there was a bit of shoving on the boys' parts as they tried to get up the stairs first. Kakashi gave Sakura a brief wave before heading down. She was alone in a matter of minutes, and began searching through the rooms.

Kitchen? Empty. She frowned at a rotting bowl of fruit. These hadn't been touched in a while. There were small fruit flies jumping from one orange to the next apple, and a few trailed up and down a particularly brown banana. Opening the fridge out of curiosity, she made another face. Empty. Completely empty. Was this guy for real?

Shutting it with a rough push of her hand, Sakura kept walking, eyes scanning for the missing Fuji. It could be that he was asleep or out of the house—even if that old lady had claimed that he hadn't been seen in a while, it could be that he was on a trip or just hadn't spoken to her in a while. A clock was slowly ticking the seconds away, an annoying background sound to her search.

It wasn't a noise or a glimpse of something that alerted her to another presence. It was the smell. She scrunched her nose up so tightly that it could have disappeared into her face, though she resisted the urge to cover her nose completely. Kami, it smelled bad! Reluctantly, she followed the smell with almost silent footsteps till she found herself at the back of the house. It was remarkably dark.

Blinking as her eyes tried to adjust to the lack of lighting, she began to make out the form of a tall person, almost invisible and sitting, curled up, on the floor. As her vision improved, she noticed that he was dressed in what could have been mounds of clothing that hid his pale body from her eyes—if it weren't for his pale, pale face she probably would have just walked over him. Dark, lanky hair with streaks of white fell down his face, blocking much of his features and she wondered if he had even thought of taking a bath recently. But this may be the man they were looking for—though he looked quite different from the picture. He had been tan in the photo, and a little chubby.

This man though...he was obviously undernourished, the way his cheekbones stood out prominently and his eyes were sunken into his skull. At the moment, he seemed to be almost asleep, eyeballs sticking so far out of his drawn skull that his eyelids were like spheres. She almost hesitantly called his name. "Fuji-san?"

The reaction was shocking and immediate. Eyes flashed open and he was on his feet in another moment. His breath came out in pants, and he stared at her with something akin to horror. "What are you doing here? This is my house." If his voice was closer to a gruff squeak, he didn't seem to notice and when she didn't respond immediately, he grew more frantic. "Go away! Or I-I'll call the police on you! Go away!"

She cautiously took a step forward, trying to show she was harmless. "I mean you no harm. Please stay ca—" The minute she tried to move again, he started shrieking, shoving himself against the wall like a frenzied animal.

"**Don't touch me!"**

He hunched into himself, plastered against the wall with huge eyes that seemed to be his whole face, gaunt as it was. Sweat dripped down his chin, and he shrunk against the wall, a dry, skinny husk of a man draped into thick, heavy clothing—everything but his face was covered. "Please...please please leave me alone. Don't touch me. Please. Don't touch—don't touch me." His words had turned to whispers.

Keeping her distance so not to frighten him further, Sakura managed a thin smile. What on earth had happened to this man? "Um, are you Fuji Hiro?"

His eyes were riveted to her eyes, trying to find something within them. Hands shaped like black gloved claws came up to his face and rested there, shivering with tension and...fear? After a few silent moments, Sakura tried again, using her most cheerful but soothing voice. "Your neighbor has been worried about you. Remember? She used to, um, babysit your children."

He was mumbling, staring vaguely at the ground through his gloved hands. Straining her ears, she caught words and phrases. "...scared of snakes but not adders...twenty-three years ago...that ninja with blue eyes...oranges..." It was all nonsensical. Her smile twitched downwards slightly, but she kept the encouraging façade up even though it seemed that he had forgotten her existence.

She tried again. "She wants to talk to you. Like the old days."

His head whipped back up to stare at her through dark holes of eyes, shaking even harder. At first he was merely mouthing, but soon it turned to full-out screaming. "No. Nononono. NO. NONO—GET AWAY! Get away from ME!" Grabbing hold of the base of a lamp, he actually ripped it straight out of its socket, wire whirling as he threw it straight at her.

A tossed lamp was not something Sakura was expecting. Her body froze, and her mind seemed to turn to slug. Got to move. Move. Move. MOVE. At the last second, she snapped into action, dodging it with relative ease. "Fuji-san! Please calm down! We can get you help!"

The distraction had worked and he was gone. A back door was wide open and she caught a flash of a figure moving quickly away, immediately blocked by the forest—very fast for a civilian, and she could make out the way he stumbled over his own feet in his effort before disappearing.

'_So much for an easy mission.' _This man was hysterical. Insane maybe. And it looked like it was up to Sakura to catch him before he did anything crazy. Glancing back for a second, she hesitated, wondering if she should first alert her team.

And make them think she couldn't even catch a civilian? No thank you. Sasuke would never even look at her again without disgust in his eyes if that happened.

She would do this herself. Decision made, she burst forward with speed through the open door. Any self-respecting ninja could beat a regular civilian in a race, and she was no exception. Hair whipping back, she reached the forest area, dodging trunk after trunk as she searched for the missing man. A strange noise caused her to pause, feet easily coming to a soft stop. It sounded sort of like water, but not quite. Something thick streaming out. Then silence.

Making her way stealthily to where the noise was from, she came face-to-face with a shocking scene. Sprawled on the ground with papers lying everywhere as if he had tossed them up was Fuji Hiro, wrists running red with now silently dripping blood and neck halfway severed off in some mad attempt to behead himself. His sleeves were now rolled up and his gloves had been tossed aside along with the papers. She didn't need to check him to know that he was dead. It was obvious.

"Oh my Kami," she whispered, gorge rising. Of course she had heard descriptions, even seen some pictures through research. She had even gone to a funeral and seen a man lying peaceful within the coffin, ready to return to the earth. But this...this was something completely new. A violent, horrid ending to a man who seemed very, very ill.

She turned to begin heaving, unable to stop herself. That was a suitable distraction for several minutes, till the powerful pushes of her stomach finally ceased. After one last dry shudder of her body, Sauke wiped her chin free of spittle and what was probably lunch and shakily stood. Kami, there was puke in her hair. And she could feel something wet but thick clinging to her cheeks.

Though she was normally very vain about her appearance—especially her hair—she couldn't find it in her to care too much. Not with this man lying there. Forcing her mind to thinking logically, she scanned the local surroundings. A lot of strewn papers, his gloves, the body, and a bloodied kunai that even a citizen could get his hands on. Had he really...had he really killed himself?

Tears had started streaming down her face minutes ago, and it took her a moment to realize she was hiccupping with sobs with one hand up, unable to contain them. She didn't know this man outside of the mission, but whoever he had been, he did not deserve this sort of end. Nobody did.

Letting herself sit again, she held her knees tightly to herself, feeling goosebumps break over her skin. This was supposed to be a D mission. She wanted to throw up again, to get her system clean somehow. Her eyes lowered to read one of the papers close by—any sort of distraction from the body was good.

_Yamamoto Tsuki – dream of flying; hates dogs b/c of T.O.; landed from N.B.; avoids M. w/ obsess. of D._

_Nagato Yuri – 5 had E; I.N.M. still scars; loves I.P.; don't Q. when P.C.M_

The list continued in a tiny scrawl of handwriting, stretching clear across the page for each name with strange initials and confusing words. A frown creased her face, thin eyebrows drawing together with puzzlement. What was this?

"Sakura-chan!"

She could have hugged that stupid boy for showing up. Quickly rising to her feet, she absently tried wiping her cheeks with her already dirty hands. "Naruto! Thank Kami you're here! It's Fuji-san; he—" The look on his face stopped her.

His eyes were wide, and there was a mixture of confusion and horror beginning to dawn in those blue orbs. "Sa-Sakura-chan, what happened?" He sounded a bit like he was going to starting throwing up too. Was his face paler than usual?

Behind him, Sasuke and Kakashi arrived quietly. Kakashi immediately looked passed her, taking in the scene with his usual casual aplomb. But her attention wasn't on her sensei, but on her crush. He was staring at her like Naruto was. But his expression was so blank and void of emotion that she flinched under his gaze. She had wanted him to notice her, but not like this.

"Sakura, report," Kakashi ordered, already behind her, checking the scene out. His cool tone jolted her back to reality.

"Um..." She swung around stiffly to face him, glad to no longer be locking gaze with the one she wanted to impress the most. "I went to the back of the house, and found Fuji Hiro in a weakened state. He looked as if he hadn't eaten for a long time, and he immediately saw me as the enemy. He uh...fled and I chased him into the forest. By the time I had arrived, he had killed himself."

"And how did a civilian outrun you?"

Ouch. She rubbed the edge of her elbow nervously, staring at the ground. "He threw a lamp at me. I wasn't expecting an attack, so my reaction time wasn't a great as it should have been."

He was disappointed in her—she just knew it. But his tone remained clipped and professional. "A ninja must always be prepared for attack. You know that, Sakura."

Nodding meekly, she continued rubbing at her elbow. "I looked at the papers, Kakashi-sensei. They're really strange; like some sort of code." As she spoke, he had begun to gather them. "Wh-what are you doing?" she squeaked, horrified that he was touching something that was part of a death scene.

"If this is some sort of code, the Hokage will want to know about it. Naruto, Sasuke, start gathering." Both boys immediately obeyed, neither looking that talkative or competitive for once. "Sakura." She up at him and inwardly winced at the coolness of his visible eye. "Search the body for anything else."

"Sensei?"

"Do it." He continued to collect papers, expecting her to obey his command.

She reluctantly obeyed, tentatively stepping towards the corpse. Kneeling next to the still wide-eyed body of Fuji Hiro, she felt her gorge rise again, but this time firmly held it down. Being this close to him, she couldn't understand. He still looked so...real. But he was dead. His skin still held a vague flush of life, though the blood coming out of his body had finally ceased. His lips were cracked and dry, and this close Sakura could see and smell that he hadn't bathed in what could have been days to weeks. Her small hand reached for the closest pocket, and once she touched the cloth, she flinched away.

"Sakura." His tone was just as hard. Was he watching her, to make sure she did it?

Not looking back, she tried to imagine that she was just looking through a bag for something important. Out came little pieces of paper, all covered with more words and strange code, followed by two pens (she scrunched her nose, noticing that they were funny-looking), and some identification, confirming his identity as Fuji Hiro. There was nothing else, and she sighed in relief to be done looking through his stuff. If she was shivering a little, it was only because it was cold outside. She felt like some sort of grave robber, desecrating all that was sacred.

Something small glinting on the ground caught her eye, and she picked it up. It must have fallen out of his pockets while she was searching. It was a tiny ring, big enough for a child's hand but not for a man's. There was a metal life-like spider on the top, and she wondered if it was one of his children's ring before they had grown up. Was this a clue of what had driven him to suicide? She added it to her pile.

She became aware of someone standing behind her. "Very good, Sakura." His large hand came out and ruffled her hair. She didn't know whether to be pleased or just turn and glare at him for making her do this. Saying nothing, she handed him the items.

* * *

They stood at attention as the Hokage sifted through the papers. There was a rare focused frown on the elderly man's face—this was a most unexpected turn of events. For a D-Rank to turn to a shocking death and suspicious find of codes; something conspiracies were made of. Clearing his throat, he looked up at the four ninja, rapping the tips of the papers against his desk to line them properly. "Is this everything?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama. We searched the surrounding area as well as the house afterwards. Everything that we have found is there. If you would prefer a closer search, then I suggest checking the home for any hidden niches we may have missed," Kakashi replied, looking remarkably awake for a normally sleepy-eyed sensei.

He nodded curtly. "I may take that into consideration though I have faith in your team's abilities, Kakashi." Setting the papers on the desk, he motioned towards them. "I'll send these off to Intelligence, and we'll see what we can discover. Fuji Hiro is being looked in to right now, and his neighbors are being questioned. Is there anything else to report?"

"No, Hokage-sama. It's all in the report."

"Very well. Dismissed." They all began to file out the door, but the last figure froze when he spoke again. "Sakura, I'd like to speak to you right now, if you have a moment?"

She stared longingly at the backs of her companions, before nodding and closing the door that led to freedom. "Yes, Hokage-sama." Eyes lowered to the ground, she seemed unaware of the way her hands wrung against each other. There were the beginnings of bags under her dull eyes—she hadn't been able to sleep the last few nights, staring at the wall with the image of Fuji's corpse continually flashing into her mind.

"You were the one to find Fuji's body?" It was both a question and a statement.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

His stern expression softened. "A hard welcome to the world of death. Especially for one still so young. I am sorry that you had to see that, Sakura."

She jerked her head away, staring at the side rather than meet those gentle eyes. Shame pooled in her stomach, making her throat tighten up. Was she, or wasn't she, a ninja? She should not be so affected by the sight of death. Yet even now, she felt her eyes watering at the thought of how fragile life really was. It was hard to remember why she wanted to be a kunoichi.

"Unfortunately it is a lesson that all shinobi must eventually learn. And you must learn to cope with that. Have you been sleeping?" He nodded with understanding when she silently shook her head, pink hair shifting behind her. "I didn't think so. It will pass with time. It may help if you think of this as one of your first major steps to becoming a great kunoichi—one I believe you can become."

Her eyes shyly lifted slightly to his chin, embarrassed by the sudden appraisal in his tone. The idea of becoming a great kunoichi was nice, but she'd rather just forget this whole mission. As if seeing that in her face, the Hokage rested back on his seat and suddenly tossed a small object at her. She automatically caught it, and he nodded with approval this time.

It was cold and hard. Fingers splaying out slowly, she realized it was the spider ring she had found at the site. She looked up at him with confusion. "Hokage-sama?"

He smiled softly. "Keep it." His voice grew more serious and she knew she was now in front of the Hokage alone and not the kind Sarutobi. "It will remind you of your first taste of death. Let it strengthen you, comfort you, and help you to keep in mind that corpses will always be a part of your life now that you are a ninja. Never forget that again."

Her fingers closed over the small child's ring, and she bowed lowly, fist against her chest. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

He waved her off with a congenial mention of how much work he still had to do. "Take a few days off before your next mission. I've already arranged for that with Kakashi."

Slipping out of the room and quietly shutting the door behind her with her free hand, she let her body rest against the wood, face lowered. How embarrassing. She hated being singled out like that; the weak female who couldn't even stand the sight of blood. The Hokage meant well, but she just felt a bit worse. Maybe a few days' rest would make her feel more like her usual self.

She turned to leave, and almost ran face first into a tall man's chest. Immediately taking a step back, she realized it was Kakashi. He raised one hand in that nonchalant way, greeting her as if they hadn't seen each other for weeks instead of minutes. "Yo!"

There was that strange urge to laugh again—one she always started feeling when Kakashi showed up. He was so confusing. There were moments, like during their bell test, where their sensei was just amazing, a real jounin who could take them out with ease. But there were so many other times where he was just a regular, sleepy-looking man who stood out like a sore thumb wherever he went. A man who was gullible, relaxed, and unaware of his surroundings. She hadn't seen him in real action since that test, and sometimes it was hard to remember how good he had been. She vaguely wondered in the back of her mind why one of his eyes was always covered. Was the other one gone?

She had never had the courage to ask.

"We're having a bit of a break for the next few days before our next mission, but I think this will be an excellent time for training." He smiled at her even as she made a face. "It will be good practice for everyone. We'll start at 7AM, so don't be late."

'_It's you I'm worried about,'_ she thought sardonically but managed that same obedient smile she had gotten better at. "All right, sensei, I'll be there."

"Good. I've already informed Naruto and Sasuke." Before she could say anything else, he had already whipped out his favorite _Icha Icha Paradise_ novel and wandered away, giggling a little bit about whatever part he had bookmarked.

She went back home. Turning her key and opening the door, she called out as she removed her shoes. "Mom, Dad, I'm home." There was no response. They were probably both still at work—no surprise. If she was the betting type, she had a feeling her mother would come back home first in a couple of hours, while her father would eventually find himself back after staying a few extra hours at work, pouring over his latest project. She locked the door behind her, pocketing her key and heading upstairs to her room.

It hadn't changed in years. Ridiculously pink sheets covered her bed, along with posters of some of her favorite bands, and a long row of stuffed animals stood at attention on her shelf. Below that were her books—a mixture of romance and technical work. She had never even told Ino while they had been best friends, about her strange enjoyment over reading serious, dry material. Maybe that's why her bookwork had always been so good, while her actual physical skills had suffered.

Feet pressing against the soft featheriness of her rug, she placed her pack down on the ground, and dropped onto her bed, hair splaying over the sheets as she stared at the ceiling. The ring was still in her hand, warm to the touch now since she had gripped it so long. It could have been part of her skin. Lifting it to eye-level, she wondered whose it had been. Had Fuji missed his children, keeping the last remains of their childhood? Or was this a reminder of anger, rejection, and distrust between them?

She marveled at the intricacy of the spider, so detailed that it could have leaped off the metal band. If it had, she would have started screaming and tried her best to squish it. With that thought, she sat up and placed it next to her, unnerved by the idea that it could come to life.

Why had he killed himself?

The thought came unbidden, though she had tried to keep her mind carefully blank of all wonderings about his death. Still, it could not be avoided. She picked up the ring again, reminding herself that it wouldn't come to life, and began twisting it in her hands as she thought. How was she supposed to get passed this? How come everyone else seemed so relaxed about death? It was horrible and upsetting and...

She brought up a hand to her neck. _It was easy_. If she brought up her own kunai, she could slash her own throat and kill herself in a matter of minutes, and no one would be the wiser. How had she never noticed it before? Life was so fragile, and people died every day in the most ridiculous ways. A middle-aged woman down the street had drowned in her own bathtub four months ago, just because she had fallen asleep. One of the bakers from a nearby pastry store had died choking on one of his own newly-thought-of concoctions. Shinobi died in silent struggles between nations every minute of every day for their countries, no matter what sort of petty argument or unfortunate chain of events had brought them together.

"It's not fair," she whispered. Who would cry for them? Who cared? Why did everyone treat her like she was wrong to cry and grow upset over death? And suddenly it struck her that one day; she would become used to death—being in the profession that she had chosen. And that thought frightened her more than any other.

Sasuke had been avoiding her. More than usual anyway. At first, she had thought it was because of her embarrassing inability to catch a civilian, but the way his face seemed to harden indicated it was something else. Whatever it was, he was choosing to ignore it and her. Naruto, on the other hand, kept treating her like a porcelain doll with the way he kept looking at her like she might break to pieces. She didn't mind that as much, though the way he kept trying to ask her out was annoying.

She didn't even notice slipping the ring onto the ring finger of her right hand at first. Glancing down, she realized with some surprise that it fit well. Then again, she did have small fingers. Looking at it with a scrutinizing gaze, she smiled crookedly. It was cute; she could have just been another eleven-year-old girl wearing a plastic spider ring. Except it was a metal ring she had found on a dead man and she wasn't just another little girl. She was a kunoichi.

Reluctant to lose what little childhood she had left, she promised herself she would remove it in the morning before training. But just for this night...just for one night...she wanted to be a regular girl again who was allowed to cry and feel pain for others. So she read her romance novels, talked to her animals about nonsensical dreams she used to have before becoming a ninja and slipped into bed with the covers over her head, just to try and imagine what it would feel like to not think about fighting and hatred and fear. And when she closed her eyes, she dreamt of nothing and was content.

* * *

And that's it for Chapter One! Hope you liked it. If you've got anything to say, don't hesitate to write. Thanks and have a nice day!


	2. Behind Blue Eyes

Thanks for all of your supportive reviews! I hope you all enjoy this chapter—I've tried to fill it with plenty of preteen emotion.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or its characters.

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Chapter Two – Behind Blue Eyes

He was late.

Sakura could have screamed. That morning had been great, the first morning she had felt refreshed since _that_ incident. She had skipped breakfast (her mom was always nagging at her to eat, but she knew it would just lead to her getting fat) and had arrived promptly at seven for their training. Since becoming a team, they had had little training, Kakashi more focused on sending them on D-rank missions. It was both a relief and an irritant. Sure, she liked not having to always exercise and work so hard against her own teammates, but she felt that there were more important things to do than find a missing pet or go weeding someone's garden.

But Kakashi was late. _Again_. And it was already close to nine o'clock. It was kind of embarrassing, the way civilians passed their bridge, sending them curious or sympathetic looks, based on if they knew that they were Kakashi's team.

Naruto was lounging on the railing of the bridge, staring down at his own image and making faces once in a while to entertain himself. She rolled her eyes at the immaturity. Sasuke was ignoring them both and relaxing against the opposite railing, eyes shut as if that would keep his teammates away from him. She wished he would look at her. Just a look and she wouldn't ask for anything else.

The minutes crawled by and she felt the remnants of her patience quickly slipping away and turning into a simmering anger. She barely noticed Naruto practically bouncing over to her, grinning that ridiculously large grin of his. "Sakura-chan!" She frowned inwardly—what gall for him to constantly call her that. They had never even been friends, yet he kept treating her like she was his "bestest friend ever". "Let's skip this joint and go get some ramen! Kakashi-sensei won't even notice until at least eleven. What do you say?" If his cheeks were a little red, she paid no notice.

"No thank you," she snapped through gritted teeth, turning her head so she wouldn't have to look at his crushed expression. She just didn't get him though she kept reminding herself not to be too mean. Actually, she hadn't really noticed him that much until he suddenly started claiming he liked her one day and kept pestering her. It was almost flattering at first, but it really creeped her out now. How could someone suddenly start liking her when she had never even spoken to him before outside of class? It was mind boggling.

He seemed to shrink for a second before going back to the other side of the bridge, sadness already disappearing as his face returned to its normal, idiotic smile. Nothing seemed to ever faze Naruto for long, that's for sure. No wonder he kept coming back for more no matter how many times she rejected his advances. She didn't even hear the soft snort coming from Sasuke.

"Neh, Sasuke-teme, what was that supposed to be? Looking down on me, huh?" Naruto suddenly piped up from where he had been standing quietly, narrowed blue eyes staring intently at the other boy who apparently had made a face.

Sasuke ignored him completely, and Sakura felt her heart flutter. He was so cool. Smart, handsome, and quiet—it was no wonder it seemed like every girl had a crush on him. She sighed longingly, wishing he'd notice her. That was ridiculous though; he'd never look the way of some stupid, plain girl like her. Fantasizing about him suddenly realizing that he liked her and ask her out, she didn't even notice Naruto watching her with a jealous expression.

He could see the bliss on her face as she stared at Sasuke, who seemed completely unaware of the girl, and his glare intensified. "So Sasuke-teme, have you always looked so girly too?"

"Naruto!" Sakura snapped out of her reverie, aghast at his rudeness.

"Idiot."

Naruto seemed encouraged by the response and continued jabbing. "Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if half our teachers thought you were a girl at first with your face. And your girly—"

If looks could kill, the expression on Sasuke's face should have done the trick, and Naruto faltered. He sneered at the blonde. "Shut up, dobe. Are you really so starved for attention that you need to lash out?"

The other boy looked as if someone had struck him. "You-you—!"

Sensing the sudden weakness, Sasuke looked away, treating Naruto as one would a blade of grass. "You're pointless."

"Teme!" Naruto snarled out.

"Let's just calm down, guys," Sakura tried to mediate, realizing how close this was to a physical fight. How the three of them ended up a team...she'd never understand. They just didn't mesh together. Naruto pissed her off all the time, Sasuke kept riling up Naruto and vice versa, and with her... She bit her lip. Sasuke wouldn't give her the time of day. Some team they were shaping up to be. It wasn't her fault that Naruto was such a creep and rubbed both of them the wrong way!

They both ignored her, and she felt the first smoldering of irritation. Ignore her, would they! A secret little voice was screaming for her to beat them both up, but she quickly suppressed that—Sasuke probably didn't like such outspoken girls. No, for such a prince like him, only a perfect, beautiful, demure girl would work. She wished she was more like that.

"You think you can take me on? Come on!" Naruto growled when Sasuke continued to ignore him. "I'll beat up your pretty face till no one will recognize you!"

The Uchiha managed to look incredibly bored as he finally glanced over at his rival. "Did you just call my face _pretty_? It makes sense, I guess. I'd prefer homos like you stay away." Sakura honestly didn't think Naruto's face could get any redder.

Before the conversation turned into a full-out brawl, Kakashi appeared in a burst of smoke that demanded all attention in a hundred foot radius, looking as nonchalant as ever. "Good morning!"

Immediately, Naruto and Sakura's attention was on their sensei. "You're late!" Sasuke probably agreed with them, but he chose to remain silent, boredom plastered onto his porcelain features. Sakura blinked in realization, eyes going round with astonishment. "Wow, sensei, you're only about two hours late."

"Whoa! Hey you're right! That's amazing!" Naruto exclaimed, original argument with Sasuke forgotten. That was one thing she had to admit was good about the blonde; he was quick to forgive and forget. "Neh, Kakashi-sensei, why are you so early?"

Kakashi scratched his head, wondering why his students seemed so proud of him being two hours late instead of three or five. They didn't even ask for an excuse this time—was even Sasuke looking vaguely impressed? Kami, who would have thought an hour or two would make such a difference to them? He chose to ignore the question, instead beaming. "Let's get to training! We have a few days to really get some work done, and the first thing I'd like you three to do is to familiarize yourselves with each other."

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei, we already know each other," Sakura pointed out.

He shook his head at them. "I don't mean getting to know each other personally. What I want the three of you to do is to get to know how each of you reacts in a fight, to get to the point where you will know exactly what your teammates will do." He held up a hand before anyone could comment. "Knowing each other will be very important in a real fight—you need to rely on your teammates fully and implement perfect teamwork. If you can do that, any mission can be completed without major injury. It can't be done in the few days we have, but we can at least start with a basis. I'd like Naruto and Sakura to pair up first, while Sasuke and I will have a little sparring match as well. Taijutsu only, I don't want to see any fireballs or clones today."

"Yes, sensei." They all dutifully chorused, Sasuke splitting off to fight against Kakashi while Naruto and Sakura squared off in the training grounds across from the bridge.

She grimaced. Figures Kakashi-sensei would decide on sparring instead of some chakra training. She was a bit of a pacifist herself, though that was an odd thing to admit for a ninja. Applying her chakra and using jutsus on the other hand...that was fun. It was thrilling—the first time she had been able to perform a jutsu, there had been a rush of pride and excitement. Maybe a feeling of superiority.

It wasn't pretty but she did know that now, when she looked at civilians, she sometimes felt...better? Like she was able to do things that they could never imagine, and she was still so young. It was a great feeling, even if it felt a little tainted. Those same girls that used to tease her—now they were beneath her. She was a shinobi—a proud ninja of the Hidden Leaf. At least, that's what she reminded herself when she felt depressed.

Pulling her attention back to her opponent, she frowned. Naruto—the dead-last ninja who somehow graduated with the rest of them even though she knew for a fact that he had failed his exam. She was very curious about how that had happened, but to ask him would have just encouraged his attention. Right now, he was practically bouncing up and down with energy and eagerness, happy to be paired with "his Sakura-chan" even if she refused to acknowledge their destiny.

There was no way she'd lose to him.

She was about to say as much when he suddenly stopped fidgeting, turning serious and concerned with dawning realization on his face. Almost nervously, he scratched the back of his head and smiled at her—not his usual huge grin but a sheepish one. "Sakura-chan—how about we just go do something else? Let's forget sparring. Kakashi-sensei won't notice while he's so wrapped up in beating up Sasuke-teme."

"Huh? Why, Naruto?" This was weird. Naruto loved sparring—loved attention in general. What had suddenly changed his mind? From the way he shifted and wouldn't look straight at her, he wasn't about to tell her the reason. Her mind raced through the possibilities. He was chicken, had an injury, tired, didn't fight girls—she felt a vein beginning to throb. She had never seen him fight a girl. "You think I'm too weak? Come on, I'll take you down!"

"What? No-no-no that's not it, Sakura-chan!" he protested, waving his arms frantically as if that would stop her from beating him up. He was pretty unconvincing to her. His eyes suddenly latched onto the strange shininess of her finger and he quickly changed the subject. "Is that a ring? Shouldn't you take that off if we're going to fight?"

She couldn't help herself and glanced down at the metal spider ring that still adorned her finger. Oh yeah. She had forgotten that she had left it on last night. It fit so well that it could have been made for her. Hey wait—she glared at Naruto, not about to be distracted so easily. All thoughts of trying to be nicer to Naruto had disappeared. "That's not important. Are you unwilling to fight me because I'm a _girl_? Am I too _weak_ for you, you big strong _boy_?"

Looking ready to pull his hair out, he shook his head frantically. "That's not it, Sakura-chan! I just—"

"Fight me; then we'll talk," she interrupted him shortly, angry at his willingness to lie to her. Without giving him another chance, she burst forward in a rush of movement, faking a jab before throwing a harsh roundhouse straight at his stomach.

She was almost surprised when she made contact. He was pushed back, grunting with sudden loss of breath. '_I did it!'_ she thought exultantly, then suddenly frowned inwardly. _'I-I mean, it's not like I thought I couldn't. After all, it's only Naruto.'_ A small voice in her mind was crowing with pleasure though at making the first contact.

Rushing forward again, she began trading kicks and punches with her teammate. She easily dodged a blow and smacked him in the arm with one hand while tripping him with her foot that had slipped behind his. He almost comically flailed before falling to the ground with a loud "oof!" of surprise. She felt herself panting a little after a few more minutes of domination, but it was kind of exhilarating. Maybe Sasuke would even be impressed when he noticed how good she was getting at fighting!

Confidence growing, she blocked a grappling hold with her arms, forcing his body down and smashing him with an elbow on his back. Maybe Naruto hadn't wanted to fight her because he sucked at fighting and didn't want to be so thoroughly embarrassed. She was having fun though!

Another half an hour of this and her breath was coming out harder. Naruto was beginning to look like a punching bag, but she had barely a scratch on her. What was beginning to bug her though was the point of this sparring. If they were supposed to get to know each other's movements so that they could work better together, then this was pointless. Naruto didn't seem to have any instincts at all! It was almost like fighting a dummy. It was kind of disappointing—she could have sworn he had more ability when he had tried to get the bell from Kakashi on their first test, but maybe that really had been dumb luck.

Something clicked in the back of her head. _Fighting a dummy_... Her eyes narrowed as she took in Naruto's appearance, purposely skipping a few steps back to make some distance between them. Bruises were starting to form on his face from some of the roundhouse kicks she had sent his way and the rest of his body was covered in that ridiculous orange jumpsuit though she was certain he was hurting. Her punches had been directed mainly at his body—it was kind of weird to constantly be punching against thick material like his clothes. But it was his breath that caught her attention. He wasn't panting at all. In fact, for all his damaged appearance, his eyes were still filled with life and he almost looked pleased about something.

Even if her physical skills had always suffered a bit, she had always excelled in mental activities. And it now occurred to her that Naruto had been messing around. Things quickly clicked into place. The slow moves, the lack of response besides some weak defense, and the lack of any fatigue... She felt steam threatening to burst from her ears and her chest started to swell with indignation and righteous fury at this outrage. _How could he?_ Was he purposely trying to make a fool of her?

She was torn between crying and screaming. Was he not taking her seriously at all? Letting her think that she was better than him at fighting, while not fighting at all? Suddenly all her pride and excitement dispersed, and the air whooshed out of her as quickly as it had come. Naruto had really played her for a fool. Hot, boiling embarrassment pooled into her center, and she felt a strange lump clogging her throat, making it difficult to breathe. _'Does he really think so little of me? Not even willing to fight me for real?'_ Something inside her was screaming to smash him into smithereens. Normally, she ignored that part of her, stuffing it away into some corner of her mind she wouldn't hear. But this time, she cocked her fist ready, willing to give into her impulse.

Before he could say anything to her, or get back into a fighting stance, she was moving at him at a dead run. He looked genuinely surprised when she shouted at him. "_**NARUTO**_!" Her fist shot out like a rocket and crashed into his cheek with such vigor that she could almost see his face vibrate. Too late did she remember she was wearing the ring on that hand.

A violent shock surged through her hand and she let out a shriek of surprise, falling back onto her behind. Naruto seemed to have been affected also, howling as he clutched his cheek. He looked at her with confused, blue eyes (_too innocent-looking for such a creep_). "What was that, Sakura-chan? Some lightning jutsu?!"

She rolled her eyes, snapping back at him angrily. "Get real. That was static, Naruto. Sta-tic." She wasn't about to admit that she found it weird too. After all, shocks like that were supposed to happen at sharp points, not big fists like hers. It occurred to her why she had punched him, and anger rushed back into her face. "And what were you thinking?! Why weren't you fighting?"

He sputtered out some nonsense, a mixture of trying to deny it and some stuttered words in between.

"Save it! I can't believe you, Naruto! I thought you respected me more than that." Stupid tears—they were swelling in her eyes and threatening her vision, even though she hadn't meant for them to show. "Just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean that I can't fight too." How dare he. How dare he imply that she wasn't worthy—a dead-last **loser** like him! "You-you creep! You're such a jerk! I hate you!" She didn't even know what she was saying anymore. Words were flowing without her guidance, and she just wanted to yell at someone. "I hate you! I hate you! Just go and die somewhere!"

If those big puppy eyes looked hurt—if Naruto looked ready to cry—she didn't want to see it.

A nasty satisfaction was welling up in her heart. Even though she knew it wasn't just him she was mad at (_it was the world; that stupid unfair world that let anyone just die_), she was selfishly, severely glad to just shout without caring what she said.

The words kept boiling through her. "Why would I ever like a creep like you? I don't even know you!" He looked like he wanted to say something, but she refused to let him cut in. "Don't even try it. We may be on the same team, but we are **not** friends."

"Well, this isn't what I had in mind for team building."

They both turned to look at Kakashi, who had been watching them since...when? Sasuke was next to him, looking remarkably beat up and ruffled, though their sensei didn't have a scratch on him. The dark-haired boy was staring directly at her with those beautiful, smoldering eyes.

And she wished he wasn't. Face burning, she wanted to melt into the ground—never in a million years did she want her sensei and her crush to be present when she broke out into a tantrum. So much for today being a good day.

"Naruto, let me see your cheek."

He was looking down, straight at the ground with the strangest, most forlorn expression Sakura had ever seen. One hand was still held against his cheek where she had punched him, and she inhaled sharply when she realized blood was trickling out. He said nothing at all, simply staring.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, this time firmer.

Reluctantly, and still silent, he withdrew his hand to reveal a harsh gouge in his flesh about the shape of her spider ring where the blood seeped out.

Their sensei nodded as if that was what he expected. "Let's get that bandaged up and we'll continue training after lunchtime. I think everyone needs some rest today." She knew the words were directed at her.

It didn't matter because she was already regretting what she had said. Scratch that, she was horrified and utterly revolted at the way she had treated him. She hadn't meant it. She really hadn't. "Na-Naruto, I—"

"I'm fine." His voice was softer than usual. Sadder. "I don't need to be bandaged, Kakashi-sensei."

"Naruto...Kami, Naruto I'm so sor—"

He cut her off again with a small, unnatural smile. "I-I won't...I won't bother you any more, Sakura-san."

_I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it._ Those words echoed in her mind, but she couldn't push them passed her dry throat. How could she explain it to him? She felt so confused—so sick. But what made her even sicker was that strange smile on his face that made him look so old...and so tired.

It was Kakashi who finally broke the silence. "Regardless, Naruto, I think we better get that bandaged up. Just in case." He looked over at Sakura, and she wanted to shrink at that cool gaze. "Sakura. Sasuke. Go get some lunch. We'll meet at one, same bridge and resume where we left off." He smiled that suspiciously malicious Kakashi-smile. "We'll do double time."

Sasuke was still looking at her with that horribly cold expression. He nodded at Kakashi before stalking off, staring straight ahead as if no one else was there. Naruto wouldn't look at her. She wished Kakashi wasn't looking at her. Finally she bowed her head and whispered, "Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

She looked one last time at Naruto, who still was purposely looking away from her, and she wanted to cry. She hadn't meant this...not this. Feeling like a heel, she turned away from them both and walked with her head held high, like she didn't care about anything at all. But she felt ready to throw up. Her expression remained blank, remarkably so for someone who usually wore her heart on her sleeve, but if anyone had seen her eyes they would have turned the other way and _ran_. They were filled with tears threatening to spill over and a horrible, guilty look that didn't go away for the rest of the day.

The first place she went was back to her house, almost slamming the door shut behind her. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT!" She clutched at her face with both hands, horrified with herself. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." All anger had long ago dissipated when she realized how much she had hurt Naruto. Sure he was kind of creepy and kept asking her out when they hardly knew each other, but he was still a human. And the savage joy she had gotten, the thrill of snapping at him without caring about what he said—it wouldn't go away. And that hurt more than anything.

She rushed to the bathroom, noticing for the first time that there was blood on her ring. Turning the faucet to the hottest temperature with one hand, she began running her hands under the slowly heating water. She stared into the mirror. Her image stared back accusingly. "I didn't mean it," she whispered. She didn't feel any better. "I didn't! I was just so mad...so mad. I didn't mean it at all. I'm sorry, please...Kami...Naruto, please, I didn't mean it."

Regret clung to her throat, thickening her words till they could barely make it out her mouth. She was crying again. The water was beginning to burn her hands, turning them bright red even as she continued scrubbing them. Sobs burst from her throat, and she shook her head. "I didn't mean...It's not you I'm angry at. Naruto, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

Naruto wasn't here to forgive her though. She found herself sitting on the rug of her bathroom floor, clutching her still tingling with heat, red hands as tears seeped down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." Her eyes were starting to ache but she was glad—at least some sort of penance. "I'm horrible. I'm such a horrible _bitch_!" He probably hated her now. She curled herself up into a fetal position, head between her knees with only the faucet running as background noise.

"I'm a bad person. I'm such a bad person," she whispered to herself, eyes clenched shut. _Such a bad person..._

That's where her mother found her, twenty minutes later. She looked surprised at seeing her daughter. "Sakura? Sakura, what's wrong?" Quickly moving over, she gently placed a hand on her shoulder, kneeling over to get closer. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she murmured, rubbing her shoulder soothingly.

Blinking blearily through tear-thickened eyelashes, Sakura squinted at her mother. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" she asked wearily, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "What are you doing home?"

"I got off early. I heard the water upstairs so I came to investigate. Now," she sent her a stern gaze that was only marred by her soft voice, "if you're through trying to change the subject, I think we should talk about this in your room."

Five minutes later she was sitting on her bed wearing a tank top and fuzzy, baggy sweatpants. Trying to wipe the last of her tears away, she moodily stared off through her window. Her mother walked back in with a box of tissues and sat next to her on the bed. "I thought you might need these." She offered her a tissue.

"N-no. Thanks, but I don't need one," she mumbled thickly, refusing the box. Sakura felt a bit numb now.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, her mother watching her and Sakura avoiding her gaze, just looking down at the side of her bed. Finally, her mother sighed out loud and smiled at her daughter. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"It would make you feel better." Sakura still didn't say anything. "I know it doesn't seem so right now, but if we talk about it, maybe I could give you some advice. I may not be a ninja, but I am your mother and I do know some things about the world." There was a bit of a smile at the end of her words, but also some soft bitterness that Sakura didn't catch.

"I'm a horrible person," she finally whispered after a few minutes of patient silence from her mother.

Her mother frowned at her, placing a hand on her leg. "No, you aren't. You're a wonderful, loving daughter with a beautiful smile and a willingness to help others. Why do you think you're horrible?"

She buried her head back in her arms. If only her words were right. "I said...I said some terrible things to this guy I know." Her breath hitched in her throat again, and she hurried to say the words before she started crying again. "I-I-I didn't mean to; they just came out and I couldn't stop them! And now he...he hates me. And he should too."

"Sakura, do you really think he'd hate you?"

Her voice was still muffled, but the words were firm. "Yes. He does."

"How long have you known him?"

"Since the academy I guess. We didn't really start talking till a few months ago," she admitted. And, oh Kami, she just managed to make their team the most awkward, horrible team ever! This afternoon was going to be _awful_.

"Were you friends?"

Friends? Not really. She hadn't really known or cared about him, and he was always acting like he had this huge crush on her. Were they friends now? No...they had been acquaintances that had to work together, but after today they weren't even that. "He kind of liked me I guess...but I don't like him that way. He kind of freaks me out, the way he's always looking at me and asking to go out with me." But that didn't mean she wanted him to hate her.

"I see." She looked thoughtful now. "Sakura, everyone says things they regret. It's just another life lesson—when you say things, you can never take them back. And the only way you can move passed that is to apologize and try to watch your words."

"Watch my words? But I wouldn't know what to say—what's right or wrong!"

"Everything you say can be right or wrong based on who you are talking to. What I mean though, is that you need to be able to control your temper." She leaned over and caressed Sakura's cheek with the back of her knuckles. "If you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say it. That's the rule I try to live by. Maybe it would help you."

A tear leaked down her cheek. "What if it doesn't work? What if I apologize and he still hates me? Why do I have to watch what I say if no one watches what they say?" Resentment stuck in her throat. She had met plenty of people in her life who didn't hesitate to say exactly what they thought of her no matter if it was good or bad.

"Friendships take time. Just like the plants in the kitchen. If they have nurturing, love, and a little bit of conversation, they can bloom into beautiful, wonderful things." Taking Sakura's face into her hands, she leaned forward till their eyes were perfectly level—two sets of green irises meeting. "Do you want to be like those people who say terrible things because they can?"

Staring into those green, green eyes that were so much like her own, she shook her head wordlessly. _No. _No, she didn't want to be like those girls who always made fun of her, those boys who thought it was cool to say nasty things in order to hide their own insecurities.

The smile on her mother's face was beautiful as she leaned in and kissed Sakura gently on her forehead. "I know that you feel like you've made the biggest mistake in your life and he'll never forgive you. But I can assure you..." There was laughter in her voice. "I can assure you, you'll feel this feeling at least a hundred more times in your life. And that's all part of growing up. He'll forgive you. If you care this much, you either really like him—" The expression on Sakura's face made her laugh harder. "—or you _are _a good person who doesn't want to say bad things about other people. Sleep on it for a bit and talk to him when you feel ready. And never ever **ever** forget that your father and I love you. We'll be proud of you no matter what happens."

Without another word, she was wrapped into a warm hug, face pressed against the crook of her mother's neck. She could smell the scent of cinnamon and apples that her mother loved as she felt herself relaxing, tension finally draining from her body with her mother so close and so comforting. They sat there for a long time, before the older Haruno reluctantly pulled away, pushing messy pink hair away from her daughter's face. "You're going to grow up to be such a beautiful woman, Sakura. Don't ever doubt that. And if you make some mistakes along the way well...you're only human."

Sakura managed a watery smile, which seemed to satisfy her mother.

"Take a nap or read. I know you haven't really been sleeping well." She couldn't help smiling at the astonished look her daughter gave her. It always seemed like Sakura forgot that all mothers had special senses about their children. "I'll make you some lunch and we can talk about that cute boy you like."

Her face immediately flamed up. "Mom!" But she had already slipped out the door, laughing merrily down the stairs. Pouting slightly, Sakura stared down at her knees. She did feel better already. Not great—no, if she turned her thoughts too long on Naruto, tears would start to well up in the corners of her eyes. Guilt was not a pleasant road to go down.

'_I really didn't mean it,'_ she thought miserably, knowing that she only had herself to blame. Why oh why did she have to be so stupid? Even if she didn't really like him, that gave her no right to start biting his head off like that. And after her promise to be nicer to him... She flipped around with a groan, pressing her face into the cool folds of her pillow. She really was pathetic.

She could have lain there for minutes or hours, drifting in and out of her thoughts. Her mind was too wound up to slow and let sleep come, but also working so hard at not thinking that she didn't even know what she was musing about.

It was her mother's soft footsteps and shifting clothes that finally began to rouse her. Well, that and the smell of something delicious. Raising her head to look, she didn't notice the sight she made with pink hair sticking up haphazardly, some plastered to her cheek. "Whazzat?" she muttered, voice slurred with lack of use.

The older Haruno beamed. "Lunch is ready. Once you've cleaned up, I expect you downstairs. It's not every day I get to make lunch for my favorite daughter!"

Stumbling from the blankets, she tried smoothing her hair back into some semblance of order as she followed her mother downstairs for lunch, completely bypassing the suggestion to clean up. "I'm your only daughter," she objected absently. It was a common quip between the two, and hearing it made her feel a little better after all the drama of the past week. The fact that she was the cause of much of that drama did not cross her mind.

* * *

She fidgeted one toe close to the edge of the river. Maybe it would be a good idea to go for a swim, you know, it was only...mildly chilly today. Perfect weather. A-and it would be good exercise, yes? Good for the heart and lungs. _'Maybe good for drowning myself too,' _she thought moodily, finally giving up on her recent plans to drown herself and not have to deal with the repercussions of yelling at her hyperactive teammate.

While still in bed and talking with her mother, it seemed easy. She'd ask forgiveness, he'd accept, and they'd go on with their lives—he'd finally stop asking her out and Sasuke would ask her to marry him! Okay, so that last part didn't seem too likely, but a girl could dream. This close to the bridge made her nervous though. All she had to do was take a few more steps and turn right, walk up the wooden planks to meet her bored-looking teammates. Not too hard...

So why wouldn't her feet move any closer?

A part of her was annoyed. Why should _she_ have to apologize? None of this would have happened if he had treated her with respect when they fought. And she certainly wasn't the creeper that kept asking her out on dates she _obviously_ wasn't interested in. If there were any parallels between her and Naruto and Sasuke and her, Sakura was blissfully unaware of them.

Another part of her was still throbbing with guilt, feeling terrible every time she so much as saw someone blonde. The things she said were pretty messed up, and if someone had said those things to her, she would have been horribly hurt. Well that, and she probably wouldn't have spoken to them for days even if they apologized. Unless it was Sasuke who was apologizing...but then again, he wouldn't say such bad things to her, would he? He was too sweet and amazing to ever do that!

Running one hand through her still messy hair, Sakura sighed loudly. Okay, looks like it's decision time. Go to the bridge and apologize or drown in the river.

...Well, the water does look nice today. And from the look of those cold fish, she'd be in good company.

"Sakura-chan, how long are you going to be staring at the water?" called a confused voice, and Sakura winced.

Oh right, she forgot. Just a few steps away means that the boys can see her. And apparently they saw everything...looks like it's apologize-and-be-nice-to-Naruto time. Plastering on her nicest smile, she walked towards her two teammates who were lounging on the bridge again, similar to last time with Sasuke on his side, head slightly down so that he could brood without making eye contact, and Naruto shifting a little back and forth with barely contained energy.

If it weren't for his wary eyes and sudden pause in motion when she looked at him, things could almost be normal. Her smile fell. "H-Hi Naruto," she managed out without too much of a squeak. Only a little one—okay, maybe it really was a full squeak, since the blonde was giving her a confused look. Clearing her throat, she tried again. "Hi Naruto."

Now that the greetings were done, she found herself speechless for the first time in a long time. She honestly had no clue what to say to him and found her gaze shifting to the right, in order to not keep meeting his eyes awkwardly. Darn it, this was so much easier when it was him always initiating conversation with her!

They both stood there for a few minutes, neither sure what to say. Sakura felt herself growing more and more frustrated—not just at herself, but at Naruto too for not just forgiving her instantly. '_Okay, deep breaths, Sakura. Now, think...what would Mom do?'_

Ask forgiveness.

Bobbing her head down, she whispered a fierce "I'm so sorry, Naruto!" to the surprised boy. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said those things. I was...angry and it wasn't really directed at you," Well not completely, "and I didn't mean it. I-I really didn't." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I want us to be friends."

Relief swelled in her chest. She did it; she really apologized. Still, a nagging, selfish part asked her why she had to apologize. He was the one who treated her like a weakling. She stuffed that part into the back of her mind, not wanting to ruin her apology already. Did she feel better? She was a bit surprised to realize that she did feel better.

"Uh, that's okay, Sakura-cha-san. I forgive you," he said simply, scratching the back of his head with confusion. He smiled at her, but it wasn't one of his big teeth-flashing smiles. Just a bare press of the lips together.

She bit her bottom lip. He said everything was fine now, but his actions said otherwise. The wariness and hurt had not left his eyes. But if he wanted to be that way, there was nothing she could do about it. Still, something said she hadn't given enough to make up for it. "I'm really really sorry. Um...if you want, we can go and get something to eat tomorrow?" she offered weakly. To think _she_ was asking _him_ out on a date!

The thunderstruck expression on his face only grew. He looked so eager to say yes for a second, but then something drew him back within himself. "N-no. No, that's okay, Sakura-san."

If her left eye was twitching slightly, she would never admit it. Now he wanted her to wheedle him into a date? Kami, this was messed up! But...guilt still lingered after all her harsh words. So she plastered another smile on her face. "Pleeeeease, Naruto? It'd be fun." If anyone heard a grinding noise, those were probably her teeth slowly destroying each other.

He hesitated again, and this time her temper flared.

"Come on, Naruto, just go out with me. Kami, you wanted to this morning!" She flinched at her own words, but he didn't react, other than a blink. Trying to soften her tone, she looked down at the ground. "I really do feel bad...and, and I want to make it up to you."

"...Okay, Sakura-san." He was grinning a little, and she wondered if he was laughing at her. Kami, at this rate she was going to get a hernia from dealing with this boy!

She moved away back to her usual spot, and sighed inwardly, placing one hand up to massage her temple. Did she do the right thing? Would her mother be proud of her tomorrow? It was hard when her guilt was constantly battling with her irritation for the boy. How was she supposed to atone when he kept making her angry?

She was almost thankful, half an awkward and silent hour later, when Kakashi finally showed up to start up their sparring again.

* * *

**Lady is mad.**

_She not smile. She not laugh. But I sit quiet and not make noise. Why Lady mad? What I do?_

_Ball in box. Dog in box. All toys in box. I sit on chair and not move. Why she angry?_

_Who strange man speak to her? What he do? Why look angry at me too?_

_When he leave, Lady still look mad. Why Lady mad?_

_Grandpa say birthday is soon. Does Lady know? What if she not know? Who tell Lady? I not tell her...parties supposed to be surprise. Lady should know. Lady know everything. She know when I want to use potty, when I hungry, when I want to play. Lady know everything._

**Is Lady my Mommy?**

_Why is Lady screaming? What I do? Hurts. My arm hurts. My face hurts. Lots of ouchies. Why Lady hit me? Sit in room alone, not fun. No toys. No Lady. No light. Ouchies hurt. I must do something wrong. What I do wrong? It hurts._

_I bad boy. Hurt Lady. She hurt back._

_Lady scream for days._

_I scared of dark._

**What's a "monster"?**

_Why Grandpa look sad? Why not tell me? What's a monster? What's a freak? What's unwanted? Why Lady say she hate me? Why Lady not Mommy? What's a Daddy? Why Grandpa look sad? Maybe questions make Grandpa sad. He not want me to ask. I stay quiet. Lady like that too._

_Will Lady love me if I quiet?_

**Where's Mommy?**

_No one say. No one talk to me. Only Lady and Grandpa love me. I be good boy. Then Lady want to be Mommy. If Lady want to be Mommy, I be happy. Lonely. I lonely. Lady very quiet now. Lady no speak now. Lady no speak for long time. _

_What I do wrong?_

_Lady...please speak. Darkness. Quiet. Shadows come closer. I scared. Lady, please speak._

**Lady gone for long time. **

_Lady say be good, be quiet. I good boy. Lady love me more then. Lady be Mommy then._

_Tummy make funny noise. Feel yucky. Sit here long time. Where Lady? Lights not on. I scared of dark, but Lady say I be good. I not cry. Hungry. Dark. Shadows so close. Silence. Scared. Lady...come back. I be here...long time._

_So hungry._

_Grandpa here. Why look sad? Where Lady? Where Lady? She no love me no more? Where Lady?_

_Where Lady?_

* * *

She woke up crying. Foreign surroundings threw her off for a moment, as she felt pink (_pink! What a stupid color!_) blankets that weren't her own, a too soft bed, and shelves that held things she had never seen before. Where was she? Her heart was racing with confusion and suspicion before there was a strange click in the back of her mind and her surroundings seemed to jolt and blur in her vision before refocusing back to reality.

This...was her room.

For a second though, she could have sworn it was someone else's.

Pulling her sheets to her chest as she sat up, knees close to her, Sakura looked around with her heart still pounding in her ears. All she could see in her mind was the blur of an old man's sad, sad face. The hunger and fear. The loneliness. Was it all a dream?

It was strangely easy to bring back to the dream to her mind. She could still see the room her dream self had sat in, a bit blurry and similar-looking to most rooms, but there had been things lacking. Table settings, decorations, even proper cleaning now that she was awake enough to remember the dirtiness of the table under her small hands.

Staring at her hands, she flexed them. These thin, longer fingers seemed a little foreign now. She could still remember the chubby little fingers that curled into small fists, hoping for an offered hand to hold. The sheer desire for love made her mouth dry with unhappiness. Whoever she had been dreaming herself as was a very lonely child.

Lady. Who was Lady?

The dream had been different than normal dreams. There were images, feelings, and some thoughts but no real talking or movement. It reminded her a bit of a projector, flashing one image after the other without words to match the screen. And a funny notion in the back of her mind told her that time had meant very little in that dream. It hadn't been a constant ongoing stream, but more of flashes of random moments. What a very strange dream...

Tiredness began to fog her mind again as she curled back up into her blankets. Who was Lady? Though her dream self had longed for recognition from the lady...in her opinion, this Lady character didn't seem so nice. She wondered if tomorrow's training was going to be just as rough as today's. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke didn't hesitate to slam her in the dirt. N-not that that was a bad thing! After all, Sasuke is amazing! There was no way she could defeat him, not in a million years!

She almost groaned out loud, remembering now that she also owed Naruto a lunch date tomorrow. What must Sasuke think of her, fraternizing with other boys? But she didn't have a choice—she had to make up for what she had said. Even if she kept being torn between feeling immense guilt and wanting to slug him over the head.

Burying her head into her pillow, she sternly forced herself to agree that tomorrow she would be super nice to Naruto. At least that way, maybe he'd call her "Sakura-chan" again. Though she was loath to admit it, it was kind of weird to have him call her "Sakura-san". And it was a good indication of how Naruto looked at her now.

Who would have thought she'd want that loser to like her?

She felt her thoughts slowing even further, but one last one bubbled up sleepily.

Who was Lady?

* * *

And that's the end of Chapter Two. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. It's Not A Date

I apologize for the long wait. Things really have been busy on my end, but there's no way I'd ever give up this story. I'd like to say thank you to those who review, because they definitely encourage me whenever I'm having trouble with the storyline. Please enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or its characters.

* * *

Chapter Three – It's Not a Date

The heady smell of noodles, soup, and special spices was thick in the air, enclosed by the thick walls that made up the kitchen, only to waft out into the street to tempt people walking by with the savory scents. In the back, an old man hummed softly to himself as he began to prepare the next batch of noodles, exchanging smiles with his daughter when she passed on her way to get more orders from the customers. Naruto looked in heaven as he left the steam of his large bowl of ramen wash his face with its warmth.

Sakura kind of felt like she was about to sneeze.

Staring down at her bowl, she felt a little sick, thinking about all the calories and unhealthy stuff that must be in the soup. Kami, why was she here at this stand anyways? There were dozens of places she could have been where a small salad would have sufficed. What on earth had brought her to come here of all places? She opened her mouth to complain, but a look on Naruto's face stopped her cold and she shut her mouth with an audible click of her teeth, stunned into unusual silence.

He looked...happy. Not that ridiculous over-the-top happiness that he was always exuding from every pore of his body, but a comfortable, tired happiness she had never seen before. Suddenly, every smile, every sparkle in his eye that she had seen in the past seemed to dim when she stared into his face right now. Was this a happy Naruto? That slight smile, those sad, content eyes, his strangely exhausted stance _(as if the world had always worn him down)_—those were more real than anything Naruto had ever shown her.

"Uh, Sakura-san? Is there something on my face?"

And just like that, the moment passed. She blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes, before squinted at Naruto again. Whatever she had thought she'd seen wasn't there anymore. "Oh...no. Sorry, Naruto, I just...I don't know." She stared down at her own bowl. What on earth had she been thinking anyways? Naruto, serious? Sad? No way—that guy was always a bouncing bundle of energy and happiness—what could he have to be upset about? Sure he was an orphan but—

"_How could you understand? The loneliness...the pain," whispered Sasuke, face turned down, eyes staring at something that wasn't there. His hands clenched into fists, unclenched, and finally fell listless to his sides. The expression 'a puppet whose strings were just cut' came to her mind. "You think it's nice...to be alone—to be without your parents?"_

_His dark eyes pierced into her soul, raw anger and pain making her flinch. Thick with emotion that she had never seen from him, his voice reverberated through her. "You disgust me."_

Her breath hitched in her throat at the sudden memory.

**Naruto was an orphan**. She had almost forgotten that. It was such a well-known fact that she rarely even gave it a second thought. After Sasuke had said those words to her, she had spent the night thinking about it—analyzing the meeting over and over again till she could recite every word and motion in her sleep. And each time, she had reluctantly come to the conclusion that she would (no matter how stupid they could be at times) be absolutely devastated if she ever lost her parents. How must Naruto feel?

"Um...Naruto?" He looked at her curiously. "Do you...do you remember your parents?"

Looking baffled by the sudden question, he scratched the back of his head. "Oh yeah. They were cool. Nice people."

The coolness of his response startled her. But he did remember them—which was more than she expected. Actually, she wasn't even sure when he had lost them, or at what age. It was something no one ever talked about or gave any thought to. _"Nice?"_ If her response was bluntly incredulous, she couldn't help it. No one just said that their parents were...nice. That was something you said about distant uncles that you didn't really know.

He seemed to get her tone and shrugged, still slurping up his noodles. "I mean, come on, Sakura-cha-san, that was a long time ago. I can't really remember them that great or anything."

"Oh." That made sense. She tried again anyway. "What'd they look like?"

Eyeing her like a strange creature, he answered slowly. "Uh...well I can't really remember what they look like. It's pretty fuzzy. My mom had...brown hair? I think. I really haven't thought about it in a long time." He smiled slightly. "I think she was a pretty good cook...why with all the weird questions?"

She flushed with embarrassment, immediately feeling like she was starting to sound like she had a crush on him. But that wasn't true! It wasn't like she was interested in him or anything! She was just curious. Curious, and filled with a guilt that she didn't want to admit. "It's nothing." Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, before she broke the silence again with a soft question. "Do you miss them?"

For the first time, he really looked at her, bright blue orbs studying her with an unreadable expression. He started to say something, then stopped, shaking his head. His smile widened with a flash of white teeth, and he pointed at her bowl. "You know, Sakura-san, your ramen's getting cold! There's absolutely nothing worse than cold ramen! ...Well, okay if you're hungry and forgot that you left it in the microwave and you get hungry a few hours later, that's fine. But when you pay good money for a warm bowl—nu-uh! Eat it up!"

Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. She obediently took up her chopsticks and gingerly picked up a noodle, pulling up as long as possible to stare at it with suspicion. The stringy strand dripped with light brown liquid, still steaming slightly in the light. There was no telling how horrible it was for her. But Naruto was still watching her, waiting for her to take a bite. So reluctantly, she nibbled at the end. "Hey, it doesn't taste that bad!" she exclaimed with some surprise, amazed at the eruption of flavor from one bland looking strand.

He pouted at her. "Ne, Sakura-san, did you really think I'd take you somewhere with bad food?"

"Uh...well..." She quickly changed the subject. "How many calories are in this bowl?"

"Huh? I don't know that! It's delicious and amazing though! Who cares about calories when you can just chow down?" As if to prove his own words, he started eating again at a rapid pace that she could only watch with envy. If only she could do that too. But wasn't that just the nature of boys? They could eat whatever they wanted and it wouldn't affect them at all. But just a few bowls of ice cream and she was sure that she was starting to pack on the pounds! Totally unfair.

So she huffed at him. "That's easy for you to say. Some of us _actually_ gain weight when we eat!"

"Are you talking about yourself, Sakura-san?" When she frowned at him and nodded curtly, he blinked. "But you're so skinny! I don't get it."

She wanted to laugh. Skinny—her? Naruto seriously had some eye issues or something, because she could see well enough that if she didn't watch what she ate with care, the results would show all over her body. "Are you kidding? Have you ever seen my thighs—they're huge—hey, don't stare that's rude!" She pushed his face away to look in a different direction the moment his eyes started wandering down towards her legs. "You perv!"

"B-But you brought it up, Sakura-san!" he protested, cheek still squished back into his face from her hand. "I couldn't help it!"

"You didn't have to look!" she protested, pulling her legs as close as possible to her stool. And she shook her head furiously, pink hair flying everywhere. "It's too embarrassing!" Having fat thighs was something she never wanted to admit—how in Kami's name did they end up on this topic?

He tried to ease past her hand, grinning as he forced her arm back a little. "But they're so pretty!" And that startled a laugh out of her that she never would have expected. To her surprise, somehow the tension had eased. Not a lot, but enough for her to notice. The conversation lapsed into a surprisingly comfortable silence as each of them worked on their noodles.

A little awkwardly, she smiled at him. "Naruto...I'm sorry about yesterday. I really didn't mean what I said and I—" Her words halted when she noticed something strange. "Naruto, what happened to your face?" He didn't even have a chance to yelp protest when she squeezed his left cheek roughly, feeling its smoothness. In the back of her mind, she vaguely noticed that those whiskers on his cheeks weren't real, somehow melding with his skin. "Where's the bandage? A-and you were bleeding yesterday! There's no mark!" Were his injuries bad enough to require a medic-nin? That didn't make sense—sure she had hurt him, but not badly enough to require extensive healing!

"Ow, ow, ow! S-stop that!" Grimacing under her grip, he finally managed to pull her hand away from his cheek and started rubbing his face. "Geez, that huuuuurt."

Her eyes narrowed. "Where's the wound, Naruto?" Had she hurt him worse than she had realized? That guilt which had begun to dissipate began to pool within her stomach again.

He pouted back at her. "It's nothing, Sakura-san! I'm just a really fast healer, that's all." Letting out a wide yawn, he put his arms behind his head, looking at her through one eye. "It's no biggie. I'm just lucky I guess. After all, if I'm going to be the next Hokage, I better have some amazing tricks up my sleeves to beat up anyone who gets in my way!"

"...Right." She was actually kind of impressed. Fast healing, enough to close a wound in a day, was a blessing any shinobi would wish for. How Naruto had gained it was a mystery, but pretty amazing. Could it be some sort of bloodline trait from his family? Uzumaki wasn't a clan name but...what if his mom had been part of a clan? Then that would explain a few things, including his slightly strange appearance. The more she considered it, the more it made sense. Perhaps an illicit love between a clan woman and a shinobi not of high enough birth. It pleased her more romantic sensibilities and that would explain why the clan never took Naruto in—his parents would have done everything possible to hide him from their wrath or shunning and in turn the clan would not want someone that they considered to be a bastard. "How long does it take for your wounds to normally heal?"

"I don't know. A few minutes, tops?" She blanched. That seemed beyond possible! He really must be a child of some bloodline. "Sakura-san, something up? You look kind of funny."

"It's nothing. I just...it's incredible that you can do that, Naruto!" He seemed to swell up, shoulders drawing back when she couldn't help but send him an admiring look. "You're so lucky!" Without thinking, she brought up the back of her hand to brush against his cheek where the wound had been, marveling at his healing rate. Static made her flinch away and she let out a small "ow!" of surprise along with his. Hurriedly drawing her hand back, she rubbed it. Stupid static! How did she always manage to shock herself? It happened every summer especially! So much so that she was scared to touch anything at all, for fear of shocking herself constantly. Still looking at her hand, she didn't notice how he had begun to blush a little.

What was surprising was that she was actually starting to enjoy being here. Sure, she'd still rather go shopping or read a book, but it wasn't as bad as she suspected. A big reason was simply because Naruto wasn't constantly badgering her for a date or saying rude things about Sasuke. In fact, he really wasn't too bad of company. She was just about to open her mouth and say so when a sudden poof of smoke behind them caused both of them to yelp and duck for cover.

Beaming from them as the smoke dissipated, Kakashi brought up a hand in greeting. "Yo!" He looked around, noticing their two bowls of ramen and grasped his chin with one hand, looking thoughtful. "Hm, perhaps I should have joined you. Naruto's paying, right?"

"You cheapskate! No way am I paying for you!" Naruto stuck out his tongue, hand immediately moving to protect his wallet. A suspicious look still on his face, he grumbled at Kakashi, "What do you want, sensei?"

He raised a finger. "Training."

"Training, Kakashi-sensei? But we haven't finished lunch yet," Sakura pointed out. Her face immediately melted into an irritated expression when he ruffled her hair, ruining what attempts she had made to make it perfect earlier that morning. Recently, she had come to a suspicious conclusion that Kakashi did it to purposely mess with her.

"This is a special type of training. It's in addition to your regular training, and I expect you all to treat it very seriously. It could determine the outcome of a life-or-death situation." With each word, both Sakura and Naruto looked a little more serious and a little more nervous. Sakura's eyes immediately zoomed onto something she hadn't noticed before, spotting a head of dark hair behind Kakashi's body and her face blossomed into a vibrant red.

Sasuke! He was actually here—and she was eating a fat-filled bowl of ramen! Her stomach sunk low after doing a backflip. He must think she was such a fatty. Without realizing it, she had slowly inched herself as far away from Naruto as possible on her stool, as if to imply that she wasn't actually eating with him and to convince Sasuke that she wasn't on a date with his rival. But his attention was completely on Kakashi, who was still talking.

"Even when you aren't training, I want each of you to pair up at some point for at least two hours a day. You'll start tomorrow." He chuckled. "I'd say more than that, but I wouldn't want the three of you to get too much of each other all the time and contemplate murder." His hand casually resting on his weapons pouch implied that he was only half joking.

Naruto frowned slightly, scrunching his nose as he rocked in his seat. "Kakashi-sensei, when you say pair...?"

"I mean, for two hours you will spend time with Sakura, and two more hours with Sasuke. I'm not requiring all three of you to spend all those hours together, but if you decide to try to make it easier by spending two hours as a unit..." As he trailed off, his visible eye glinted mischievously. "I expect four hours if all three of you spend time together in any sort of attempt to cut down your hours. And one more thing—Sasuke and Naruto you two are forbidden to use this time to spar each other. This isn't about training, it's about getting to know one another."

"What! What a cheat!" Naruto moaned, obviously having planning to do just that. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with hanging with Sakura-san, but I don't want to have to spend two WHOLE hours with that ass!" He shot one rude finger straight at Sasuke who had come around from behind Kakashi, hands in his pockets and looking immensely displeased. "I'd rather listen to Iruka-sensei nag me for two hours than spend time with **him**!"

Sasuke snorted. "You don't think I feel the same way? What a dobe. Just don't talk and I promise I won't kill you."

Bristling like a cat whose territory was being threatened, Naruto almost leaped off his seat as he stormed towards Sasuke. "Kill me? If you even open your mouth, I swear I'll shove those words down your throat so hard that you'll never even make a sound!" They were almost nose to nose, itching to shove each other into the dirt at the slightest provocation. The image of two peacocks, each spreading their tails, came to Sakura's mind. Of course, Sasuke was the prettier one.

Kakashi pulled them away from each other by the backs of their shirts, sighing mournfully. "I expect you all to be on your best behaviors. At least try to get along. If you can at least start to work together outside of just training, then maybe I can actually make you into a proper team. Do not forget that you represent the shinobi of Konoha." He ran a gloved hand through his silver hair and flipped out his book, eyes immediately locked onto the pages. "Show a little pride."

All three of them stared at him and Naruto made a face. "If anyone needs to start acting a little better in public, it's you, sensei."

Kakashi merely looked bored and questioning before turning away from them with a wave of his hand. "Be at the bridge in half an hour and we'll continue training." And then he started giggling, easily slipping through the lunch crowd without looking around to avoid incoming traffic.

'_Sometimes, I can't tell if he's amazing or just amazingly perverted,'_ Sakura thought, tearing her eyes away from her strange sensei and back to the two boys who were both doing their own versions of pouting. Naruto was seriously pouting, arms crossed and looking very close to stamping a foot with irritation. Sasuke was on Sasuke Glare Level Three—Laser Burn. For once she was relieved he wasn't looking at her. He could kill someone with that look! "So, um, how are we going to do this?" she asked gingerly. An inside part of her was doing back flips of glee, realizing that she would now be spending two extra hours with her amazing Sasuke.

For the first time all day, Sasuke looked at her straight in the face. His gaze took her breath away with his beautiful dark eyes and aristocratic, pale skin. His words caused her to wilt though. "We aren't. Forget it, there's no way in hell I'm doing this. I waste enough time—"

A looming, dangerous presence hovered over the three of them, waves of menacing power sending goosebumps over her skin. Even Sasuke's usual scowl faltered into something resembling startlement, and Naruto unashamedly shouted with fear. It took her a moment to realize that she had shrieked with him. Staring down at them with death in his eye, wind bursting from nowhere to cause Sakura's hair to stream out in one direction, Kakashi stood over them, book nowhere to be found. He spoke with deceptive mildness. "What was that, Sasuke? Are you disobeying a direct command of your superior?"

To Sasuke's credit, he managed to glare back defiantly after a moment's hesitation. "Yes. I'm not going to spend four hours doing something so pointless. I see no reason that we have to waste a large portion of our days when we could be doing more important things." The one thing he had liked about having Kakashi as a sensei was that he was one of the few that did not insist on always having lunch together as a team the way most other teams did.

"And what would be more important than your team? Than teamwork?" he queried, voice hardening. "The answer to that would be nothing. You three are not a team right now—you're barely acquaintances. And you expect me to actually allow you to eventually do more than D-Rank missions if you don't even know how to work together?"

Sakura felt a little offended. Sure they weren't the best team, but they _were _a team. "Kakashi-sensei, that's not true! When we have to, we come together—" Suddenly all of their sensei's attention was on her, and his expression had turned hard.

"I had not intended to bring this up, but it seems you three need a reminder of reality. Naruto, you constantly charge into any battle brashly without any thought of backup or where that leaves your other teammates. Your teamwork with Sakura is nil and with Sasuke is actually detrimental to both of you. There is a reason why people call you dead last. Sasuke, unlike Naruto who is merely unaware, you purposely go out of your way to avoid working with your two _teammates_. You're too stubborn and prideful to ever ask for help from them, never taking into consideration how they could help you on your journey to become stronger. If you continue at this rate, you will have alienated yourself completely till no one will be willing to help you and I doubt that you could ever kill that man. And Sakura, you right now are one of the weakest shinobi to ever make it to genin. You seem so focused on things other than training that, even with your intelligent mind, you suffer physically. Naruto would be willing to help you, but you shun him just as Sasuke shuns you. There is no team here, only dysfunctionality." He paused to let the words sink in.

Naruto actually looked crushed and his lip shook with suppressed unhappiness. Next to him, Sasuke had a stunned expression, as if he had never expected those cruel words from his sensei. Sakura felt like someone had punched her in the gut, and if tears threatened to well up in her eyes, it was not unexpected. That had..._hurt_. And badly. Even her own sensei thought she was weak. It would have not been as bad if the things he said were intentionally hurtful and false, but...these words were honest and meant as a teaching tool. Somehow, that only made it sting worse.

She really was useless.

Kakashi's expression softened. "I know it hurts, but the truth usually does. You three are shinobi of Konoha, and therefore adults in your own right. And as adults, you need to be able to face all your faults and conquer them. This is your first step towards becoming a real team." This was a side of their sensei that rarely showed. Behind his lax appearance and uncaring expression, there lay a true and powerful shinobi who was far more experienced than he'd ever reveal to three upstart new genin. It was also a reminder that he was a hard shinobi as well.

And just like that, his expression shifted and it was like he had never been serious, as he beamed with rainbow eyes at them. "Enjoy your time together. I recommend having lunch or dinner together—that should take an hour. Later!" With a poof of smoke, Kakashi disappeared once more.

Three wide pair of eyes stared at where he had been. "Damn, Kakashi-sensei is scary," Naruto whispered, shivering slightly and the other two slowly nodded. Sasuke seemed to shake out of it and shoved his hands into his pockets, turning slightly away from both of them, eyes staring off into the distance.

"Naruto. Tomorrow—four o'clock." It was an order.

"Say what? Why do you get to pick the time?"

Sasuke bit back a growl. "Just shut up. Meet at the bridge and we'll...figure out something." He turned his attention to Sakura, who immediately straightened. "Sakura, we'll meet at six."

"Sure, Sasuke-kun," she agreed quietly. It was kind of bitterly ironic, that at the moment she finally had some actual one-on-one time with Sasuke, that feeling of elation and stomach flipping she always expected was completely smothered by her hurt. Had Kakashi always thought that about her? Always in the back of her mind, there had been the whisperings of how weak she was, how pathetic—the feeling that no matter what she did, no one would really like her. Only regard her politely but still talk about her behind her back. The lump in her throat grew, and she struggled to focus on the thought that she would soon be seeing a lot more of Sasuke to battle her tears back.

Both boys sensed her depression—easy enough when her head was down and tears were beginning to roll down her cheeks. Sasuke turned away, but paused for a moment. He didn't look at either of them as he spoke gruffly, as if he didn't quite want to be heard. "We'll show him."

Sakura's head shot up to stare at Sasuke with surprise. Was he trying...to cheer them up? He walked away quickly before anyone could respond to his unexpected words, mumbling darkly to himself as if he was already regretted being as supportive as he was.

"Sakura-san, when do you want to meet up?" Naruto asked gingerly, obviously still seeing her distress. When she looked back at him, his eyes were filled with clear concern, the first fully open emotion she had seen since her tantrum.

Deep down, she felt touched. These two boys, who hated each other and tolerated her, were trying their best in their own ways to make her feel better. Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she tried to smile at him. "How about lunch, Naruto? We can eat at our usual time and put in that extra hour later."

He nodded eagerly, perking up as she smiled. "Yeah! That sounds great." Scratching his head, he made a face. "Geez, you'd think Kakashi-sensei would realize we don't exactly have a ton of hours in the day when most of them are spent with him training us to death." His expression turned sly and she was vaguely reminded of a fox. "I think this is some sort of evil plot of his, to slowly kill his team so he can be lazy and just read porn all day for the rest of his life!"

"...I don't think that's it, Naruto." Still, she giggled appreciatively. One of the few things all three of them could agree on was that Kakashi's nasty habit should go. None of them had any interest in those novels and to constantly see them was irritating. She personally thought they were disgusting and embarrassing. "I guess it's probably time to get back to training."

Naruto sighed mournfully when he noticed the state of their bowls. "Man, he took so much time that the last of our ramen's totally cold! This sucks!"

Gesturing impatiently, she rolled her eyes. "Forget about the ramen, Naruto. If we're later than Kakashi-sensei, we'll never hear the end of it." She was already feeling better. And with that renewed confidence that her team did not hate her, she formed a tremulous smile and asked, "Naruto? Um...you can call me Sakura-chan, you know."

He blinked at her. "Sakura-san? I don't want—I mean, you don't like—"

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I really, really am. And I'd..." she hesitated, "I'd like you to call me Sakura-chan again." A rebellious thought in her shot through her brain—did she really want to encourage this idiot to go back to his puppy-dog liking-her ways? Well, it was too late; she had said her part.

To her astonishment, he looked completely flabbergasted but with dawning happiness that caused his mouth to stretch wider and wider till he was grinning broadly. "Okay, Sakura-chan! Come on, forget about ramen, let's go beat Kakashi-sensei to the bridge! I'm feeling like we can take him down today in a fight!" Her name came easily from his lips, not forceful and awkward the way he said it when the –san was attached. Maybe he had never gotten used to it after all.

Forget about ramen? Kami, he must like her more than she had ever thought possible.

"Sakura-san? Didn't you say we should go?"

She blinked, coming back to reality. For half a second, she had thought—shaking her head, she realized that she had daydreamed that happy forgiveness. It had been so real for a moment, she was sure she had finally admitted that it bothered her when he called her Sakura-san. He looked quizzically at her and shrugged, still waiting impatiently. She could say it; it wasn't that hard right? Just forget your pride and speak. Tell him how badly you feel and how you'd like to be friends—rather than just straddling that awkward line between acquaintance and friend. Do it!

Taking one deep breath, she readied herself. And waited, trying to draw on that thin line of courage. Naruto watched her with confused eyes that flickered from her face to the bowls of ramen and back to her. Finally, she let it out with a whoosh of air, feeling her body slump slightly with regret. She couldn't do it. Her pride wouldn't let her, and maybe it would cost her one day but right now—she couldn't tell him. It was just too hard.

"Let's go, Naruto. We don't want to be later than Kakashi-sensei," she said finally, repeating herself. With those final words, she turned away from him, unable to look him in the face anymore. She felt ashamed and frustrated that she couldn't just somehow fix this mess. And a small part of her blamed Naruto, wishing he would just get over it too and fix it for her. But that wasn't going to happen. It was her problem that she made, and somehow...somehow she had to fix it. Somehow.

* * *

Piles of paper stacked dangerously, covering almost every space of the desk, with only one small area open for the Hokage to rest his elbows and sigh with exasperation. It was a never-ending cycle; no matter how efficient he was one day, the next day some terrible accident or break out of family feuds would set him back weeks. And recently he had not being feeling productive. No, for the past few days, his mind had been completely occupied with one matter alone. It plagued him, even during restless nights where his thoughts poured over every inch of clues and evidence they had scrounged up from the scene and home.

Fuji Hiro.

A man who had not even been close to the radar of the ANBU. A civilian who had raised three children in Konoha after moving here with his wife. There was absolutely nothing on his record that could hint of some sinister plot or motive. His neighbors had admitted during questioning that he had been acting strange for months now, but before then, he had been almost a model citizen—kind, open, and willing to lend a hand to any neighbor who needing help. Even his children were overall well-behaved and now that they were grown up, they were productive citizens of Konoha. It was noted in the report that none were shinobi. It was almost suspiciously incredible how clean Fuji had been, except that everyone adamantly agreed that he truly had been the closest thing to a saint.

There were only two things that could possibly be considered stains on his record. One was the fact that he was a traveler as well as a foreigner. He was originally born in a small village somewhere in Lightning Country that was labeled in the Konoha records as no longer existing. The Hokage had sent out a message to Cloud, asking for confirmation, but the likelihood of Cloud working with them was very low. Fuji had reportedly had a passion for traveling and coming back with unique or rare items that he had purchased or traded for along the way. He had even donated some particularly impressive pieces to the local Konoha Museum.

The other only flaw was that he and his children were estranged. Something had happened at some point, but whatever the reason, it was unknown by any of the neighbors. When his children had grown up, each had moved to a distant district of Konoha, far away from the home they had been raised in. It was almost like they were avoiding their father. His wife had died several years ago, and had been married to him till her dying day. He had never dated or found another woman according to some sympathetic friends.

When they had informed each of his children about his demise, none of them had shown much sorrow—more surprise than anything else. It was a clear sign that Fuji's clean record definitely hid a few more secrets than anyone had ever anticipated. What did it say about a person when his distant friends were more upset than his children?

The Hokage rubbed the bridge of his nose with growing agitation. How this had somehow evolved into an international crisis was beyond him. Immediately it was Cloud that looked suspicious, but he couldn't just start pointing fingers and accusing them of anything. No, that would just lead to chaos and war. This had to be solved secretly, without getting out of hand. And he had to consider the possibility that Fuji had been a spy for a completely different country, who had purposely chosen him _because_ he was originally from the Land of Lightning, to help muddy the waters. He was just relieved that they had caught a whiff of this before any more of those encrypted letters had gone out. When the ANBU had started searching his home, they had discovered piles of thick books filled with the code—perhaps a log of everything he had already sent, or perhaps information he had yet to give. There was also the possibility that he was selling information to the highest bidder, but that was a little more unlikely since it was hard to cover something like that up when several countries would have to be involved.

This was exactly the type of mess he had hoped never to have again. The last time something this complex had arouse was during his first time as Hokage and it had cause an outrage within the Konoha community as well as several other Hokages, taking years to unruffled everyone's feathers. At that time, war had barely been averted.

"Hokage-sama, you summoned me?"

He looked up at that mild voice, relieved to rest his eyes from the constant reading. "Hello Kakashi. How are you?" And there was a small other problem that had arisen because of this crisis.

Kakashi responded politely, slouching slightly with his hands in his pockets similarly to his most sullen student. "Fine, thank you. And yourself?" The resemblance between the two almost made Sarutobi's lips twitch into a smile. It had been a good idea to give Sasuke to Kakashi—out of all his possible teachers, he would gain the most benefit from their interaction.

"As well as one can be at the moment, I suppose. So I hear that you've added to their training?" It was not a well-known fact, especially since Kakashi had only announced it today to his students, but the Hokage did have to be aware of everything. It also amused him when it made those who were normally unfazed like Kakashi react, the way he just did.

The silver-haired jounin laughed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I guess you would know about that. Fine. I just hope it helps them learn to get along better." He turned serious. "Ever since that incident, I've realized how young these kids really are—and how they need to work together, or else die. It's a lesson that I was taught well." If there was a mournful edge to his tone, it was unexpected. What had happened to Kakashi had been a terrible thing, but in one way it was a warning to others and in another it _had _created one of Konoha's most famous shinobi. It was just another indication about how nothing was simple.

"Do you think it will work? I heard you were a bit harsh on them." Harsh was a mild word. When he had heard about what Kakashi had said to them, he had been a little shocked. He guessed his shock stemmed from the fact that he still regarded many of the budding genin as grandchildren of sorts that he loved and wished to protect. While the Hokage was hard in many ways, he was still gentle with the newest shinobi—after all, he had seen them grow up and had even played an active role in a few of their lives.

By the way Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, Sarutobi could see that he did regret his words a bit. "It needed to be said. They don't take being a shinobi seriously enough. I don't want them to die during a mission because of something ridiculous like a crush or an argument. It might have been cruel, but I'd rather be cruel to them then bury them." His words were honest, and the Hokage always appreciated how many of his shinobi were so trustful and open with him. It was a reputation he had tried to build up over the years as someone that his most troubled people could come to—he would listen and do his best to give them advice. Kakashi continued. "I also plan on giving Sasuke some extra training. He worries me right now—I can see it in his eyes—if we don't do something to tether him down now, he'll abandon this place without hesitation if he thinks it will help him with his goals."

"And what of the other two?" He let out a sigh when Kakashi looked blankly at him. "Naruto and Sakura. Will you be giving them this extra training as well?"

Kakashi looked away. "No, they don't need it. Sasuke's advanced compared to them. He needs to be challenged. They still need to work on the basics."

A frown started forming on the Hokage's face. "I disagree. When those two learn of Sasuke's training, will they not feel left out? Will they not feel resentful and believe that you do not value them as highly?" He immediately spotted the way Kakashi shifted his stance a little uneasily. "That may actually destroy the camaraderie you are trying to create."

"It won't. They will understand, Hokage-sama. Sasuke needs this more than either of them," Kakashi said firmly, shaking off any doubts the Hokage might have spread.

He nodded slowly, having said his piece. It was up to Kakashi in the end—they were his students, not Sarutobi's. Still, he believed that Kakashi was blinded by the thought of Sasuke's eventual Sharingan. Believe what he would, the Hokage was certain that Sasuke's special treatment would not go down well with the others. At this point though, he would just have to sit back and see what happened. "Very well, Kakashi. Do what you think is best."

* * *

Sitting on swing, a little boy rocked back and forth by pushing with his toes that barely touched the ground and watched the people go by, busy with their daily lives and no room in their hearts for one misplaced child. No one turned to look at him or to ask where his mother was and why he was alone here so late in the afternoon. Resting his cheek against the cool metal of the chain, he wondered vaguely if his teacher would get angry that he was ditching again. Probably not. He actually seemed angrier when he did show up for class.

Every day it was the same. His teacher would start off talking to the class, but eventually something about him would irritate the man, and he would start screaming at him. He never knew what he did wrong—hog the crayons, play too long with a toy, not quick enough to answer a question or too quick to speak out of turn. Everything he did was wrong.

He closed his eyes, relaxing with the warmth of the lowering sun. It was easier to be here—it was simpler too.

"Boy, why are you sitting there?" asked an angry voice, sharp with agitation. Approaching him was a woman clutching the small hand of her young child who looked close to his age. The little girl regarded him with big blue eyes filled with curiosity. "Answer me, boy!"

He stared at her and his gaze must have troubled her because she started turning red. Actually, he didn't like to talk a lot. He was clumsy with words and letters, and people always laughed or scolded him because of it. But from the look on the woman's face, if he didn't say something, she was ready to do something. "Swingin'," he mumbled.

Scowling at him, she shook a finger at him with the hand not holding onto her daughter's. "It looks to me like you're up to no good. And you aren't even swinging. Move aside, my daughter wants to swing!" She looked ready to move him if he didn't do it of his own volition.

Her little daughter tugged on her hand till the woman reluctantly dragged her gaze away from the boy as if he would attack if she wasn't watching. Her expression immediately softened and suddenly she was a lot more gentle-looking and even close to beautiful. "Mama, I don't want to go on the swing," she chirped with a shy smile at the boy. "It's okay." Her words were so beautiful in the way they flowed from her mouth and he had to look at her with awe. If only he could speak as eloquently.

She frowned at the way her daughter smiled. "No, sweetie, I know you do want to go on the swing. Now move, boy, or I'll report you and the police will make sure that you aren't disrupting the peace!" He wished she would look at him with the same kindness she did her daughter. He wished anyone at all would look at him with that same love and sweetness.

Without another word, he hopped off the swing, moving aside so the younger girl could sit. He started to shuffle away, knowing that the woman would scold him and order him to leave if he stayed around. A tug on his sleeve made him turn back to look. Staring straight at him in the way adults never did (_no, they just looked passed him like he didn't quite exist_), the little girl smiled at him with her beautiful, tiny rosebud of a mouth. "Thanks for the swing," she whispered to him and he felt the beginnings of a smile begin to form on his face.

He opened his mouth to respond, when the girl's mother stormed over, pulling her daughter away so hard that the girl cried out with pain. "Mama, you're hurting me!"

Ignoring her daughter's words, she slapped him roughly while still holding onto her child and he fell back, not expecting the blow. Immediately, he curled up into a ball, knowing it was less painful that way. "Stay away from my daughter, you little beast!" she shrieked, kicking him for good measure. "Don't you dare touch her ever again, or I really will call the police on you! A grubby little thing like you shouldn't be allowed to exist! Go away!"

The moment her foot hit his side he had scrambled to his feet, going at a dead run. Her words still reached him though, shouted at the top of her lungs. People were staring at him now as he ran, all moving aside with unfriendly expressions as if each was tempted to stand in his way and deliver their own form of justice.

He wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn't come. They never did anymore. Maybe he had cried so much that he had finally lost his ability to cry. That scared him because he had once been told that it was tears that made someone human. Maybe...just maybe he really wasn't human anymore. Maybe he really was just a beast.

And each face that he looked at as he ran merely mirrored that thought. He could almost hear them chanting it.

_You're a beast. You're a monster. You never should have been born. Why don't you die?_

He wanted to. Kami, he wanted to die so badly.

* * *

Sakura's eyes snapped open and she stared into the darkness blankly. It had been so bright with the afternoon sun—when had it turned to night? She shivered slightly in the cold, wrapping herself up further in her sheets. A lump tugged at her throat and she touched her icy cheeks, feeling the stain of recently cried tears. Her side ached as if the ghostly blows had really happened, and she felt her heart race as if she had been running. In the silence of the night, she felt her eyes beginning to close again, until a thought suddenly forced them back open and sent her mind racing.

That woman...

Sakura knew that woman. But she had never seen her so filled with actual hatred, the emotion twisting her face into something ugly and primal. And she knew that little girl too. But the faces she could see in her mind were much younger than the faces she knew now. That woman who had screamed at her, who had wished she had never been born—that was Ino's mom. Why would she scream at her though? Why did she hate her so much?

"It's just a dream."

She didn't even realize at first that those were her own words. Letting out a nervous laugh, she hugged herself tightly. Never in her whole life had she felt as hopeless and lost as she had in that dream. It had hurt so much that she wondered her soul had been aching. For some odd reason, she was sure that she had been a little boy in that dream. Weird, since she usually dreamed as either a girl or as herself.

Her fingers were tightly pressed against her skin as she rolled up closer into herself, forming a ball of sheets and body. She kept repeating it to herself, like a mantra that would keep the images away from her. "It's just a dream. It's just a dream, Sakura. It's just a dream."

But all she could see was Ino's mother, screaming at her, loathing her. A surprised, confused little Ino who didn't understand what was going on. And despair that emanated from every pore of her body (or was it that little boy's body?) that she could get rid of. It hurt. It hurt so much.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. And I hope I can put up the next chapter very soon!


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